How strange to awaken and find
Envy
Sharing my bed. I’m astonished at his appearance.
Had I known him before? No I
Would have blithely sworn
From skin to teeth that
His obsidian claws, as natural as a scalpel
Would never find me, reach my heart, draw blood.
I am simply me. Others themselves. Where is there a place for him in this?
But here the stranger is, hot-faced and grinning, intimate
As my pillow. How could I not have heard him
Coming, felt that anvil breath, fought him through the door and sucked his poison out from where
It hollowed my heart and clouded my eyes, souring any blossom that might have been sweet?
I say, I insist. I never knew him he was never there and yet this shame will not lie for me. You saw
Him, it says pointing. You just
Did not say his name. For fear that name was weakness?
Am I so caught on comparison, fallen into high school ignorance and preening cleverness?
More prayer. Little i and large thou or suffer all the bliss of blindness, damn fool or
Sacred jester.
The bells and hat mark the station yet nothing matters except being
Close to the table of the king.